Fluffy, The Guardian Warrior

I rush down the hall
up the stairs
to the right
I open the door
scream for help
and wake my mom with a fright
"THERE'S A MONSTER!"
"A MONSTER!"
I screamed as I began to cry
"Gavin, there's no such thing. Goodbye and Goodnight."

So I climbed into bed .
How could mommy not help me
it was ok though
since I had Frank
and had Fluffy

They fought off the monsters
from midnight til dawn
and I lay safe in bed
as I dream on and on

My Darling Summer

Faultless green turns a malicious red
As the leaves fall on dried dirt
the dark of midnight falls upon day
stealing warmth from my darling summer

It can't be over
I refuse
My Darling flourished with blush colored roses
They wither into nothing

The meadow I once grew with tears I shall call my own
Has left me to be replaced with autumn's hushed breath

Missing Summer's sweet sound
bright and beautiful
sweet and serene
she sang to me
she held me

But blushing roses grew pale
and now there's nothing left but tattered pieces of my heart
turned to shades of brown
shades of the eyes I fell in love with
Goodbye My Darling Summer

I love you

Too many worries
too many mistakes
only to be relieved by the tears you cry
exuding down your soft skin

Why can't the past just die?!?!

I'm tired, I'm tired of the memories
I want to forget
All the lost years
All the blood
All the tears
Silly how one thing brings back a life I didn't want to live
Brings back that girl I hated
A girl that deserved cuts, bruises and violence
Because that's what she got
And now I'm in the corner of the cafeteria curled up in a ball crying
I deserved it all
Look what I got

Thinking only of You

Sweet, sweet girl
I will lay on this bed thinking only of you
until the thoughts of you take away from the pain of my sad, sad reality
And your fair voice will warm my cold heart
for every minute I spend thinking of you can only be defined as beautiful

The Ugly Truth

The sun's exquisite light blazes before me
revealing the ugliness beneath all the painted smiles
Knowing there was no way to conceal it
Nor a way to disguise the imperfections
Yet I fell in love with it's light
for I just couldn't resist the temptation to stare

Crowded Eyes

Struggling to keep back every tear
Overwhelmed, fears filled up to the brim
Brown Eyes flooded with knowledge of evil, hate, and madness
Everything that I will ever amount to
But buried underneath the filth
was affection....
passion....
Saddened by betrayal
And confused by thought
Your crowded eyes cry more often than not
</3

The First Thing That's Ever Made Actual Sense To Me

This was in my journal back from 6th grade.When I first met her. This was when I first admitted it. The realization came to me, "I am actually in love with that girl, no matter how much I don't want to believe it."

"I love her. I love her so much she’s so beautiful. I love her and I can’t deny it anymore! I’d scream it if not a soul would hear."

my actual words when I was 11....

A Waste of an Imagination

Carnivorous throats eating away at my mirage

Bitter and obscure they seem

Sick and twisted you could even say

Grappling into my deepest wonders

And receding after its slaughtered my soul

Blood exuding down the pages of sorrow I write

And for ever and for always

Sadly, for always it will be.......

Nothing Lasts Forever

If you were to say I had a craving for puzzles, an undying passion for flowers, and an emotional attachment to the fire burning brightly at the core of the sun.... 
I will have sweared you had seen straight into my soul.
 For she is the most challenging puzzle that I am yet to figure out. 
She is my favorite white rose, innocent and pure, and above all lovely. 
She is my sun, my beautiful light guiding me through a bleak and cold night deprived of all warmth.
For she is my craving, 
my passion, 
and the owner of my heart

come back

Can't things be the way they used to? With your laughter and my smile. With the love that you can't deny was there. My head swarming with thoughts of what we had, of what could have been. You were so beautiful I can't turn on what we had though at the moment it is not there. So I face nothing with my back to the world. Ready to leave it and all its sorrow behind. I'm not sure exactly what matters anymore. My passion for life left with your brown eyes. The things I found joy in before no longer interest me and all I can think of is how you're not here.

Please come back.
You don't belong there.
You belong with me
Oh Cara Elizabeth Naizer, I love you so

-love the Violet, that never sang it's song

Insomnia

My tortured soul won’t sleep a second, for it will roam the earth searching for a way to repair the damage I’ve inflicted on you. Only then will I be able to rest my eyes.

Those Eyes

What a fool I am, driven crazy just by a glimpse of those beautiful brown eyes
that somehow see down into the deepest parts of my oh so broken soul.
You are the truth I’ve been seeking my whole life,
the truth that has driven me mad from the moment I met you.
You were the realization that my half of a heart could not continue to beat without your sweet love to complete me.
Without it, I am simply me,
and that is not enough.

My Screaming Silence

The music thrives on silence

As I thrive on your love

As the sunshine will illuminate the darkness

You’ve enabled my heart to see that all I need is you

And just as the force of nature will remain

My mind will always be filled with thoughts of you

My eyes, stained with the imprint of your beautiful face

And my soul remains incomplete without you

 I love you sweet girl

And never will I love another

I'm sorry

The blood smeared across my body is simply a reminder of the pain I put you through

Of how your eyes gleamed in the sunlight making them at the least the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen

Of how my heart will never belong to another

And of how you will never love me

Dear God, let her know I’m sorry

Many tears will fall from my eyes for I have made the innocent weep

I have made the fragile fall

I have made the breakable broken

4 Small Letters

I try to forget

Try to forget all the anguish, the madness, the pain

All this wrapped up into a simple word called the past

Something with such complexity to only be made up of a mere 4 letters

But sadly that’s all you are to me at the moment

My past

The Portrait of My Open Heart

You’ve held the key to my locked heart

And now the door remains wide open,

Vulnerable to pain and rejection

I embrace the pain that I will call my sweetest Cara

You unlocked my heart with much ease as your face was to bear a smile so stunning

You came into me and walked right out

For I am nothing but an empty room to you
Bare and exposed, boring and cold

Sad Eyes

Oh beautiful Erin

White and fair

With the smile that warms my heart

And your tears that fell

Live long and prosper

That’s all I could come to say

But I’ll write you this poem in hopes your ok

I wonder where you are

If you’re smiling

What you’re thinking

So many unanswered questions

So many unspoken words

We’re not finished Erin

 Not even close

I can’t let you go

Never will I forget the way you watched me

Never will I forget how you looked at me with sad eyes the night I attempted to take my life

Never will I forget how you smiled and how in those moments your dimples had become the cutest thing my eyes have ever and will ever see

I won’t forget.

I can’t.

Sweet Dreams of You

My love for you incinerates inside of me, longing and yearning for the sweet sound of your voice to reach my ears.

Your words are sweeter than the sweetest of lullabies. For every time you speak I dream of all the things we could be.  <3